First and foremost, let’s start this beautiful Sunday off right. Shall we?
Now, to the real reason I’m writing this blog today. It’s because my husband has my three year old and her friend downstairs and I want to hide in my room, so I told him I was working. Hahaha j/k. Kind of.
You’ve heard it a thousand times, being a mom is a full time job. It’s 24/7 and 365. There isn’t a second of a minute that our child is not bouncing around in your brain/heart. Sure we have “days off” and we get weekends were kids are with relatives or friends. But we’re still thinking about them and worrying about them. And the instant they pull out of the driveway, your heartbreaks just a little. My daughter is the luckiest kid in this world. She has like 9 grandparents/great grandparents (divorces and all that jazz). My husband and I get lots of time to ourselves. But it never fails, when we’ve strapped her into her car seat and given her hugs and kisses, the second I close the car door I get this tightening in my chest. I want to change my mind. I want to flip my mom the bird and take my baby back into the house with me. Being a parent is hard work. Emotionally and mentally. And since my yoga challenge went to shit and I’m out of shape…it’s sometimes physically challenging too. Plus, I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. Do any of y’all feel that way? Like I look at my kid, and she’s got her hand on her hip and she’s just told me to walk away from her and I’m just…I feel…I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t when to laugh and when to punish her or correct her. I don’t want to break her willful stubborn spirit, but I don’t want to raise an asshole either. Am I doing this right? Am I a good mom? Should I read more parenting books? Did she just roll her eyes at me? Is she’s going to runaway at 16 and become an “escort”?
Here’s the answer; phone a friend. When you feel like your head is going to explode and you get that urge to punch a wall…send a text. Wanna cry in a corner? Fire off an email. I am so blessed to have an amazing group of woman/moms surrounding me. We help each other, we laugh together. And most of all, we reassure each other that no one knows what the hell they’re doing. We’re all fumbling around in the dark trying to find a light switch. Or a flashlight. Or even a freaking match. Every one of us asks the same questions, has the same fears. We all struggle and we all falter. But we pick each other back up, giggling as we brush the dirt off our asses and we try again. I love the people in my life who are just like me, learning as we go. Figuring it out, one dramatic tantrum at a time. I don’t feel alone. When you have people sitting next to you at dinner, laughing (quietly and with their head turn to the side) at your kids hilariously inappropriate behavior (Stoli is really into fake burping right now, not to mention she tells the whole restaurant when she has successfully pee’d in the toilet) instead of sending you that judgy mom look? Life just got a whole lot less stressful.
There are a thousand blogs out there about this topic. But here’s one more; don’t judge each other. If you have those moms in your life, the ones that make you feel like crap every time your five year old gives you snarky additude? Get rid of them. Ain’t nobody got time, not to mention tolerance, for that. Find good moms, funny moms, strong moms. Find moms who know what it’s like to have a willful child. Find moms who love to laugh and love to drink wine. Surround yourself with people who are going to walk right next to you on this crazy journey. I’ve told my friends this a thousand times; I might not understand exactly what you’re going through, but I’ll hold your hand the whole time you’re going through it. And I’m lucky enough to have found an amazing group of chicks who feel the same way. We laugh and we learn and we rally and we support. And I have absolutely no clue what I would do without them. So, thank you. You guys know who you are 😉
PS- I use the word mom, because that’s what I am. But take the word mom and replace it with dad or grandparent or aunt or uncle or foster parent…anyone who is raising a child.
PPS- could you tell I went on an Almost Famous bender this weekend?