Today is my wedding anniversary. It’s been seven years, and I know this because my husband has our wedding day tattooed on his arm. It’s a sexy tattoo, all the dates that mean the most to us as a couple. The day we met, the day we married, and the day our daughter was born. One day I asked him what he’d do if we didn’t make it, he just shrugged and said he’d add the date our divorce was final. Humor. Humor is KEY to making a marriage stick in my opinion. Laughter, communication, and a shit load of hard work.
Everyday hasn’t been ideal, but everyday has been ours. We’ve always been in it together, and have both always been willing to do the work it takes to make a commitment last. I was looking back at my Facebook page and Instagram account this morning. Searching through old pictures, trying to find a good one to post. And I just had to smile. My marriage is so much more than a collage of beautiful photos. There is so much more to us than filters and clever captions.
There have been fights, and tears and sleepless nights. It doesn’t bother me to admit it, in fact it makes me proud as hell. We’re living a life together. And life isn’t always beautiful. Life is messy and complicated and hard to navigate.
But if the last seven have showed me anything, it’s that I picked the perfect partner to weather the storm with. He doesn’t give up on me, he puts up with my crazy. He’s supportive, even when I’m sure he wants to roll his eyes and go smoke a cigar. Obviously I’m not going to start taking snap shots of our fights to share with the world. But have never been afraid to tell the truth, that being married isn’t easy.
If I could go back in time seven years and give myself some advice…I would say that not every day will be easy or perfect or beautiful. But that each day will be worth it. And to take comfort in that fact. I’d tell myself to keep being honest about what I need, and how I feel. To never be afraid to share those thoughts and emotions. He needs to hear them, and you need to admit them.
I am more in love with him today than I was on the day we got married. I know him better, I understand him fuller. I’ve experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows and through it all, he’s been steadfast at my side. And I’d choose him again, if I had to do it all over. I’d choose him every damn time.